This cartoon (from Robot Hugs), in my opinion, illustrates the perfect way to handle every PTSD or anxiety episode. If I could actually live inside a blanket fort forever, I would.
Unfortunately, flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, memories, triggers, and all those other lovely things that survivors have to live with don’t have the courtesy to always wait for blanket forts to be available.
It’s scary for the person experiencing the attack, but it’s also scary for any loved ones who are trying to comfort and support someone through an attack.
This post is for the supporters.
Often in the midst of the episode, the distressed person doesn’t necessarily have their full vocabulary and can’t articulate exactly what they need in that moment. Afterwards, they may avoid talking about it out of embarrassment, fear, or a desire to preserve the peacefulness of the present.
So how do you…
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Admit it, when you’re at the store and waiting in the line, you look at the magazines while waiting your turn. You look at the beautiful, talented, famous people plastered on the pages and in your mind you start thinking about your body, looks, and how people see you and most importantly how you see yourself. While some can put the magazine down and go back to normal life, others began to obsess over every feature of their body and wish they looked that perfect. They look in the mirror and only see flaws, ugliness, imperfections etc. that make them feel lower than anything in the world. They become self-critical of every part of their body, when in reality there is nothing wrong with them. They start to pay more attention to every detail of their body, becoming obsessed with become perfect. Sayings like “You’re perfect the way you are”…
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There are different ways people handle their trauma and healing.
1. Moving on from processing.
I think there comes a point in healing, where it does become about finding more things in life to be positive about and focus on. I believe this is after all the processing of the trauma, and grieving. I think some are at this stage and this is wonderful. It can take many years, decades even, to get to this point. But, this is the goal of healing.
2. Still processing and grieving the trauma.
I think many are at this stage and that ‘is’ okay and no-one should feel bad about that, at all. It is a process and it takes time and no-one can judge that timeframe.
3. Not dealing with processing/grieving fully, or at all.
I also think some people spend their lives…
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I first wrote about the Dark Triad of personality traits in 2009 in Why Bad Guys Really Do Get the Most Girls. Unfortunately, the post, which was linked to New Scientist, has since been blocked so that only those with a subscription can view the article in its entirety. Sad face.
Today, I read an article on CNN about how Online Trolls are Internet Sadists. These are the people who write anonymous provocative comments online crafted to antagonize and upset, and they rate highly in Dark Tetrad personality characteristics. My first reaction was that someone needed to use Spellcheck. I’m familiar with The Dark Triad: Narcissism, Machivellianism, and psychopathy. These three traits together form an unchecked malignancy of the human core. But wait, there’s more! The missing, until now, red-headed stepchild is Sadism. And The Dark Triad + Sadism equals The Dark Tetrad. Shudder.
I urge you to read Everyday…
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Yes, yes. For God’s sake…. Yassssss! *standing; applauding with tears in my eyes*
Today is my birthday. Yep. 44 years old.
A day of relaxation.
A day of celebration.
A day of gratitude.
A day of reflection.
And as I reflect on this last year, I can’t help but reflect on the last 44 years and where I’ve come from and where I’m going in this journey we call “life.”
I have been reading a lot this last year. Works of fiction, yes, but also a lot of self-help and self-reflection books as well. Books to help me in my recovery journey and books to help increase my faith in Jesus. Books to validate my feelings and books to inspire His vision upon my life.
But I’m concerned as I read. See, we live in a world of “shoulds.” As a wife, a mom, a daughter, a teacher, a writer, a friend . . . I live in the world of shoulds. One…
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At the beginning of my therapy, I was asked, “What do you like about yourself?” That. Was. Laughable. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” I told her. That was a year and a half ago that I was asked, but in all honesty, I could’ve been asked the same question at any point in my growing up and I would’ve probably said the same thing. I have never thought of myself as attractive or talented or highly intelligent, and to that day of the posed question, that self-image followed me from childhood into current stage of adulthood.
Can I be Real with You? (3 secrets . . .)
In case you haven’t climbed the high walls with barbed wire on top to jump down into the field of my life to see the real me, can I be vulnerable and share a bit about myself? (If for no other reason, for this post; it…
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We’ve just come off of yet another Hallmark greeting card and the mushy love-fest known as “Valentine’s Day.” Honestly, I am completely content NOT getting gifts or showers of love and affection from my hubs on this glorious and sickening occasion. In fact, I practically exonerate him from bestowing on me candy that will only increase my waistline, grant him clemency from sending delivery people to my workplace or home with flowers that, although they are beautiful, will die before I get the opportunity to fully embrace their fragrance and bloom. In other words . . .
I let my dude off the hook.
Oh, it’s not that I don’t enjoy those gifts, or even just a simple card or love note.
But let’s get real, shall we?
If you get those flowers, etc delivered or sent to you on the SAME day as EVERYONE else is–is it really THAT special…
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My family didn’t take tons of vacations growing up. It’s quite likely that’s why my husband and I try to take a week for spring break and a week for summer vacation to give our kids that time away from home and those day-to-day surroundings to spend time with them without the hassle of our “regular” jobs interfering. (Plus, those times are *great* bonding times . . . uh huh–ok, seriously, our vacations are always wrought with detailed stories of what went wrong so we can share with our friends and family back home. Makes for great sit-com material!)
But I digress. As a young girl, I recall several small trips to amusement parks and stays in hotels, and while those memories are hazy at times, there was one particular trip I have remembered this week over others.
I don’t recall how old I was, although I asked my family…
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